Finding My Parachute Color

As a child I learned to understand the limits I had to live with and accept many disappointments that have come my way.  The most difficult decision I had to make was “what kind of career I would choose for myself.”  Would I be a clerk, sales person, or would I get a professional career?  I Thought long and hard, "What did I want to do with my life.  Since I grew up with a handicap, I figured I would best serve society by becoming a nurse.

I was accepted in a community college in the Richmond area. I learned a lot about non-acceptance for those people who where slight different. Yes, I had a handi-cap but, I continued to keep up with the physical demands of the profession. I knew I would not become an operating nurse. I needed to figure out what I could do for the patients I worked with. But the community college did not work with me as I requested. The instructors did not want me in the program. I was very disheartened when I finished the quarter. They politely told me…. “Do not attempt to return. We won’t accept you back.”

I walked out very upset. I wanted to be a nurse because I knew the problems patients have ... better than most people. I could see the potential in a person with a infirmity and figure out how to accommodate for his/her fine motor coordination. I could show someone how to button a button on a shirt or a blouse with one hand.  I had a lot of patience with the elderly.

Years later, after Robbie and I married, I still wanted to do something with my life. One day a flyer came in the mail from the community college in Danville had a LPN nursing program. This was a twelve month program. I really wanted this.  I got all my transcripts sent to DCC and did the entrance interview. Afterwards the nursing staff said to me, “We see you can do the work. . . . . now, prove it to us.”  It was like deja-vu. My parents always challenged me and I never back down. They had given me the chance to truly prove that I how capable I was.  I floated out of the interview looking forward to start anew in this LPN program.

I had another obstacle to cross. I had to ask for financial help from my parents. I went to Richmond for the weekend so I could talk with Papa, face to face.  They had no idea I had applied and was accepted into the LPN program.  I was very anxious confronting Papa.  Later that evening he announced he was going to the store. I asked him if I could come along.

 As we rode to the store, I summoned up the courage to face the music. I said, “Papa, you know I always wanted to become a working member in society. I have applied to the LPN program at Danville Community College. I have submitted all my transcripts and had my entrance interview. I would like to borrow some money to finance this endeavor. Then, there was dead silence. Papa just kept driving, and I thought I just asked for the stars and figured Papa would say, “NO!”

To my surprise, Papa replied, “If you finish this program, you will receive a car just like the rest of your brothers and sisters did after they graduated. I had such an astonished look on my face that Papa said “’Yes, it is true, I will honor my pledge but, you will have to prove to me that you can accomplish this task and graduate.”

When we arrived home, I was so excited, I ran to the kitchen to tell Mama the good news about me going back to school. Mama was pleased and agreed with Papa  I would make and excellent nurse.

The first meeting of our class contained fifty-two candidates.  One of the nurses addressed us all. She said, “ Look to your left, and look to your right, more than one half of this class will not proceed into the second quarter of this twelve month program.”  I looked at both sides and hoped I was not the one who would be dropped from the program.

A year had passed and at the end the summer, I became one of the nineteen that graduated from Danville Community College School of Nursing. My parents and various family members also came for the pinning ceremony. I was so please to see my parents beaming back at me when I receive my nursing pin.

Later on I found out how proud he was. Papa never showed his feelings too often. He was strong for us but very silent. One day I asked Mama, “I have a feeling Papa was not proud that I became a nurse?” Mama replied, “He is actually more proud of you graduating from nursing school then Judy graduating from medical school. He just doesn't show it.”

I found my niche working with the elderly doing home care. All my clients loved my sunny disposition. I always tried to keep them happy or raise their spirits when they were low. It was a special calling and also rewarding. I worked with the elderly for nine years.

Later, I became a school Nurse at a military academy in Front Royal,VA, after my husband accepted a position as a teacher. Later that semester, I was interviewed by the head of the school and hired that day. I remained at that position for eleven years and have enjoyed my nursing practice immensely.

I found my color.  It’s  yellow!!!!! It shows my disposition in life.  Just like the sun, bright and cheerful.

Another Special Gift

After my third year in college our Parents took six out of the eight children to through France. We went to see many wonderful sites in France like the Eifel Tower and sailed  down the Seine River on a dinner cruise. We saw such sites as the original “Lady Liberty”, and a very picturesque view from the Notre Dame basking in the glow of lights on this view from the river.

     We made many stops in France. The most memorable one was the city of Lourdes.  On this trip we did lots of camping. We were at a campsite across the river that faced Lourdes.  We saw hundreds of people with all kind ailments passing by on the streets of Lourdes all in hopes of being cured of their particular illnesses. It was an awesome site. We all looked forward to being blessed by the holy water. I in particular.

     Since I had eepilepsy most of my teenage life and through my early twenty's, I really looked forward to be blessed. I hoped to ask for a blessing from God to rid me of these “blackouts”. I knew they were petite mal or absent seizures. They lasted anywhere from ten to tthirty seconds.

             I had a restless sleep that night, seconds I woke up looking forward in receiving a blessing by the holy water. As we approached slowly to the grotto, I felt very insecure and selfish for requesting a cure from these seizures. I saw many people in wheelchairs, on gurneys, or using crutches seeking the same thing as I. . . "a cure." As I went through the line to the grotto where the water flowed, I asked for God's help and a blessing from the Virgin Mary to rid me of these seizures. Little did I know that my brothers and sisters and our parents made the same special request.

       

       I had no idea that it had worked until about a year later after my birthday. I had gone without a spell for over a year.  When I told Papa that it had been over a year since I had a seizure. Papa didn’t believe me until I showed him a special calendar, which had evidence of No seizure activity.  My boyfriend and the visit to Lourdes were the reasons for me being seizure free for the rest of my life.

A New Walk

Everyone has a distinctive walking gait. Some people hold themselves erect and stately.  While others walk sloop shouldered and saunter down the road without a care in the world.  Since, I have Cerebral Palsy, I have valiantly tried to walk without a limp most of my life.  I hid my spastic hand by holding items in my to make it appear useful.

My right leg was more of a problem to hide. No matter how much my parents tried to remind me to, “take a longer step,” or “stand on your right foot,” it just reminded me of how fruitless these request were. I started out walking  as they requested and invariably ended up limping my way down the street.  The only time I would notice I was limping, I could see the shadow of my own head bobbing from side to side as I walked down the street.  Many times I would get queer looks from people as I passed and wondered what they were thinking ……..“why do you limp?,” or “Oh, you poor thing!!!” That is human nature to judge others without knowing the real reason. 

The college I went to was about a mile down the road from where I lived. I had just started my second year. One day, while I was walking home I decided to count how many steps I could walk without dragging and tripping over my right foot.  I  could not walk more than one full gait before I tripped  over my right foot I counted at least thirty times or more of dragging that foot through the gait and tripping.

I was so angry at myself because I had no control over this problem as I had with my hand. I could hide the hand easier.“Will this every end?” I thought.  I had to tell myself to get a grip on your own feeling a figure out what to do.  Finally, I came to a conclusion.  I needed to talk with Papa.

That night after dinner I stayed at the dinner table and waited until everyone had left. I knew I would be emotional about this, so I rehearsed it to myself before I proposed this idea to Papa.  I said, “ I am concerned about how I walk. I don’t like the feeling of tripping over my right foot and almost falling flat on my face.  I have done that several times in my lifetime.  I would like to see if we could go back to Dr. Hoover, who was the only doctor that had faith enough I me that I would be able to walk normally.  If not, Dr. Hoover then, another orthopedist.”

Papa listened to every word and then became very thoughtful.  The silence was deafening and I was getting nervous.  Then Papa broke the silence by saying, “ I’m proud that you came to the realization you needed more help then what we could for your right foot.  Let’s look into it starting tomorrow.”

Within the next couple of days, I found that Dr. Hoover had retired and I needed to find another Orthopedist. I looked up an acquaintance from high school who had the same problem as I did.  She had gone to Dr. Carpenter.

I set up an appointment with him to be evaluated. He asked me to walk the length of the hall. After he evaluated my gait, he sat me down on the exam table he said “ I see that you are walking on the toes of you right foot. How would you like to walk on the entire foot?

I replied, “ That would be great!”  It’s a dream come true.” Wow! This might really happen.”  I asked him what this entailed. He said, “I’m going to lengthen you Achilles  tendon by cutting it in a diagonal in several places and attaching the longer portions of the tendon to lengthen it.  I asked him to explain it to me again so, I would be able to repeat the procedure to my parents. It felt like this was a dream come true.

That very Christmas, I received my new walk. Instead of walking on my toes for twenty years, I was able to walk a flat gait. One of the most exhilarating feeling for me was after my cast was taken off, I went to mass on a very cold Sunday morning with my family. As I step out onto the sidewalk, I could feel the hard cold concrete penetrating through my shoe. What a wonder feeling it was to learn to walk like others people. I now can walk on the entire foot which I have have missed all me life. That was the best Christmas gift ever.